whosaysthat

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crazyness

i feel the need to write. here we go.
i've been feeling unsatisfied with life, though i'm more content now than i've been in a while. i've learned how to deal with this depressed state and rarely let it control me like it used to. i still don't feel happy and part of me doubts that pure happiness even really exists. i'm frustrated with the way things are. i can't wait to start college and meet new people. i've never said that before in my life. i think i've changed a significant amount over this past year. i'm more honest and up front. i don't hide away from social situations. i can collect my thoughts more efficiently and not get stuck inside my own head. i have more confidence in myself than i've ever had before. and i don't think about killing myself every single day. that's always good. i'm getting my lisence in twelve days and i think it will make my life a hell of a lot better. i hate depending on other people. i hate it when someone drives you places then sends you on a guilt trip about it. i know i'm going to be the one who will be driving everywhere as soon as i can, and i'm prepared to deal with it. if i don't want to drive someone, fuck em. i also hate indecision. it's such an annoying trait. figure out what you want and make it known. if people don't like it, who gives a shit? god damn. this has been a long collection of sentences. apparently i'm too cool for proper grammer. hellll yeah. peace out diaryland.

10:33 a.m. - 2005-07-02

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